Motherhood and Attachment

     When Jason and I decided to adopt we were eager to nurture and love a child. We could just imagine what God had in store for us and we would wonder:  would it be a boy or a girl? How would he (or she) look? And I also wondered how the mother-child attachment would be. Would it happen instantly or take some time?
     During the waiting time I read on the issue and talked to a lot of parents and soon realized that there were a variety of possible experiences. I read that sometimes it could take some weeks or months for adoptive parents to bond; I heard from a biological mother who did not feel attached right away to her child; and of course I read/heard of cases in which the attachment happened right away. So, we just waited to see how our experience would be.
     Well, for me the bond with Andrew and Isaac happened instantly. It was truly magical having them for the first time in my arms and knowing -  without a shadow of doubt - that this was meant to be and I felt overwhelmed with love. I clearly remember the first time I fed Andrew and how he kept looking me straight in my eyes and the flood of emotions that made me feel madly in love with him. With Isaac it was more the physical touch when I first held him and realized that he was a part of me (hard to explain since I did not carry him in my womb), and I could not put him down for too long before wanting to hold him again. Once again my heart was consumed with love.
     Those experiences marked my life. But what amazes me the most it is how this love continues to grow. It feels like they already took ALL of my heart and one could think that there is no space for that love to grow anymore. But it does: it grows deeper.